About the book
Judy Mandel is the replacement child for
her sister who was killed in a tragic accident. It would be years before she
would understand how the event, that happened before she was born, shaped her
life.
A plane crashes into a family’s home. A
two-year-old girl is critically burned and a mother is forced to make an
impossible choice. The death of a child leaves a hole in the family that threatens
to tear it apart.
In a great act
of hope, the parents give birth to a "replacement child," born to
heal wounds and provide a "salve for the burns." The child
unwittingly plays her role throughout childhood, riding the deep and hidden
currents of the family tragedy.
In this
powerful story of love and lies, hope and forgiveness, Judy Mandel discovers
the truth that changes her life forever and forces her to confront the complex
layers of her relationships with her father, mother, and sister. When she has
her own child, her epiphany comes full circle.
Follow the tour HERE
What is the Line
Between Fact and Fiction in Memoir?
How do you know that happened? You were not there. Did you
make it up? Isn’t that fiction, not memoir?
I expected questions like these about my memoir, Replacement Child. After all, the
accident that I portray happened two years before my birth. I was not, in fact,
present at my own conception—which I write about. I didn’t see my sister buried
under a ceiling beam in my mother’s kitchen. No one did. She died there alone.
But, interestingly, no one has asked me. After I explain
that I did extensive research about the plane crash in 1952, and used the notes
and letters from my family to recreate my interpretation of events, the only
angst about fictionalizing events has been my own.
Imagining Dialogue
The dialogue I recreated in my memoir is true to the
characters of the people I knew very well – my family. When I was deeply
enmeshed in writing Replacement Child,
I did actually hear their voices, their cadences, the words they would have
used. I had no doubt that the conversations happened, and that my portrayal of
them reflected a realistic version of events.
So, what is the goal
of a memoir? Maybe your memoir. Is there a truth that is told best by an
anecdote about your mother that you may or may not remember precisely? Does it
matter if those were the actual words she spoke, or rather if they are the
essence of what she said, and what it meant to you? Is it important if she wore
the yellow dress with the white lace trim, or the blue with the polka dots? It
makes a difference only as it describes her character. But, what was the
feeling of the room where the scene took place? Was it darkened with shades
drawn, open to a blinding light, or filtered strands of morning dawn? When you
write, can you free yourself from being bound by minute accuracy in exchange
for conveying the reality of emotion and the reverberations in your life? I say
yes, you can.
Do we mold the truth
to fit our stories? Or do we mold our stories to tell our truth? Yes, of
course, we do both. Whether we are writers, or just creating our own narrative
to explain our life in our own mind, we organize the facts in a way that will
serve our needs. I know people who will deny whole decades of their lives in
order to fit their need for a cohesive story; edit out that second husband in
order to be more socially acceptable.
Even when two people experience the same thing, we have
varied memories of it. My sister and I were brought up in the same house by the
same parents, but we would describe our parents very differently. Her father
was loving and open and would do anything to make just one moment of her life
better. Mine was withholding and ungenerous with his love and affection. My
mother showered me with unconditional love, while hers was critical and never
satisfied with her.
We’ve all had the experience of relating an event shared by
others, and having the story come out so differently that you wonder if you
were in the same place at the same time:
“He was so belligerent!”
“He was enthusiastic.”
“She looked like a hooker.”
“She had on a really hip dress.”
Who is to say which is correct? Our perception is our own
reality.
In the end, I can only write my own truth. And so can you.
About Judy L. Mandel
Judy L. Mandel made her living as a marketing professional
for over 20 years before writing her first book, Replacement Child. She grew up in New Jersey, but when she went to
college in Connecticut, she knew she had found her home.
Her writing life began as a newspaper reporter. She later
worked in public relations and advertising and somehow found herself in
corporate communications at various insurance companies. Her memoir grew out of
early essays and the promise she made to her family to tell their story.
Judy now balances her business writing for clients with
writing fiction, nonfiction and articles.
Follow Judy on:
Psychology Today:
Twitter:
Facebook:
Her blog:
No comments:
Post a Comment
I love comments, so please leave some! If you are a new follower and have a blog yourself please let me know so I can follow you back! Have a great day!
Emily, AKA Mrs. Mommy Booknerd