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| Elsie Love AKA Elizabeth Loan |
Author Bio:
Elsie Love (aka Elizabeth Loan) lives in the western suburbs, a mere stone's throw from the great city of Chicago. She resides in her garden cottage with her husband, children, and numerous animals that require constant care.
Confessions of a PTA Mafia Mom, is her third novel. Her fourth book, Sixty Pounds of Sh*t & Counting, is a work in progress and should be ready this spring.
In her spare time, Elsie lunches with the ladies, vacuums, and dreams of running away to paradise to live as a woman of luxury and extravagant means.
Her websites:
http://www.ebloan.com/
http://www.elsielove.com/
Q&A:
Q. What inspires your writing?
A. I pull inspiration from life (as I think most writers do). Sometimes it can be something small & simple : i.e. a phrase that catches my attention, a person in line wearing a beehive hairdo ... etc. Other times it is based off situations that strike a nerve, or the great 'what if' questions that permeate my existence.
Q. What is your favorite thing about being an author?
A. Definitely, having an outlet for all the random musings that ruminate round in the old noggin. Let's face it, there are only so many times you can regale your husband with your woeful tales of shopping at Wal-Mart before he glazes over and loses interest.
Q. What is the toughest part of being an author?
A. Maintaining the discipline and follow through to see each piece of writing through to the end is tough. I love to write. My family loves to eat, throw popcorn kernels on the floor and stuff wrappers in between the couch cushions. People assume if you're working from home, you live to be their chauffeur, personal chef, errand girl...sometimes I wear ear plugs to block it all out. Other times I ignore it until there's no clean undies left and I'm serving sauerkraut on sesame buns for dinner.
Q. If you could not be author, what would you do/be?
A. Is 'multimillion dollar lottery winner' an option? Because that sounds pretty fulfilling to me! My second choice would be Special Education teacher, focusing on kids on the Autism Spectrum. Best. Kids. Ever.
Q. What would the story of your life be entitled?
A. I'm thinking, "Memoirs of a Mom on the Edge" pretty much says it all.
Q. What is your favorite book of all time?
A. Favorites change over time. The first book to make me break down and cry was, "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe". I guess I'd list that as my first love.
Q. Which character from ANY book are you most like?
A. I relate most to Erma Bombeck. I think she was spot on when it comes to marriage, kids, life...
Q. What character from all of your book(s) are you most like?
A. Yikes. All of my characters are pretty intense. "Memoirs" is about me, so that would be the most obvious choice. My second choice would be Lizzy from, "Killer on the Key". Granted, she is a lesbian and a senior citizen, neither of which fit a description of me. It's her sharp tongue and no nonsense attitude that screams, "Hello. I. Am. You!"
Q. What is your favorite season?
A. Summer. Stick me on the beach, baby.
Q. Tell me something funny that happened while on a book tour or while promoting your book(s).
A. I went to meet with a group of senior citizens about books. My books are rather racy. Not really senior citizen appropriate. I prepared a presentation about writing (thinking that at least some of the audience would have questions about publishing, etc). Turns out they only wanted to hear a pitch about books; which I fumbled *miserably*. In spite of all that, I did sell a nice amount of books. So it wasn't a total loss. I'm still waiting for the hate mail.
Q. Are you working on something new?
A. I'm so glad you asked! I just finished my 4th manuscript!!! The working title is, "Sixty Pounds of Sh!t & Counting" (probably will change due to the R rating). It is the story of Violet Wallace, mother of two slobbering German Shepherds, who wakes up one morning to find her stay at home husband has left. Turns out he has spent the past two years (while she was working to support his budding --cough--writing career) developing a rather galactic porn addiction...
Q. Anything you want to say to followers of this blog or those that are just stopping by?
A. Buy my books! Tell your friends! Do it because they're funny. Do it because it's trendy. But most of all, do it because every time you support an indie publisher/author you contribute to creative artists who live to make the world a better place.
Ever wondered how men develop temporary blindness when there are dirty dishes in the sink or children covered in goo? Ever questioned the legitimacy of stretch marks and saggy breasts as “badges of motherhood?” Ever cursed cottage cheese for its bland taste and resemblance to the cellulite hiding on the back of your thighs (how does consuming a food that looks like cellulite banish it?)? “Memoirs of a Mom on the Edge,” scrutinizes the conventional wisdom of ‘everything female’. Using her own life as a springboard, Loan takes on all the taboo topics, leaving no stone unturned. Welcome to the wonderful world of womanhood, Elizabeth Loan style. Buckle up, ladies. It’s going to be one helluva ride.
Product Description:
Elaine Jackerson has found herself in quite a predicament. Her husband, Bob, is sleeping with his secretary, her daughter is experimenting in the backseat with random boys, and her eight year old wants nothing to do with her.
In an attempt to get herself out of her midlife rut, Elaine joins the Herschel Grammar School PTA. Little does she know, Suni Calverson, the current president has handpicked her to be the newest member of the group. As soon as the ink is dry on the signup sheet, Elaine is thrust into a world that she never knew existed. A world where the PTA gets things done with blackmail, bribes, threats and quite possibly guns.
After stumbling across her husband and his secretary humping in his office, Elaine turns to the only friends she has: Suni and her henchmen. They convince her to let them “take care” of Bob. Elaine agrees to the plan, as long as no one dies. Unfortunately for Elaine, Suni has other plans. Before Elaine can sleep off her Mojitos, her children have been kidnapped and Bob has disappeared. Afraid that Elaine will go back on her word, Suni forces her onto a plane to hide out in a posh suite in Las Vegas that belongs to the famous French landscape photographer Gerard Ilg.
Determined to get her children back and avoid jail, Elaine spends her time in Sin City vacillating between planning her escape and trying to stay out of the arms of the much younger, very hot, very Hawaiian limo driver Benjamin Oliana. Does he care for Elaine, or is she just another notch on his Billabong belt? What about her famous host who keeps encouraging her to “find her passion”? Gerard is a man of the world—a man that knows Suni. Can he be trusted? More importantly, can she sort out her feelings, take down the PTA Mafia, and go home to her children?
In an attempt to get herself out of her midlife rut, Elaine joins the Herschel Grammar School PTA. Little does she know, Suni Calverson, the current president has handpicked her to be the newest member of the group. As soon as the ink is dry on the signup sheet, Elaine is thrust into a world that she never knew existed. A world where the PTA gets things done with blackmail, bribes, threats and quite possibly guns.
After stumbling across her husband and his secretary humping in his office, Elaine turns to the only friends she has: Suni and her henchmen. They convince her to let them “take care” of Bob. Elaine agrees to the plan, as long as no one dies. Unfortunately for Elaine, Suni has other plans. Before Elaine can sleep off her Mojitos, her children have been kidnapped and Bob has disappeared. Afraid that Elaine will go back on her word, Suni forces her onto a plane to hide out in a posh suite in Las Vegas that belongs to the famous French landscape photographer Gerard Ilg.
Determined to get her children back and avoid jail, Elaine spends her time in Sin City vacillating between planning her escape and trying to stay out of the arms of the much younger, very hot, very Hawaiian limo driver Benjamin Oliana. Does he care for Elaine, or is she just another notch on his Billabong belt? What about her famous host who keeps encouraging her to “find her passion”? Gerard is a man of the world—a man that knows Suni. Can he be trusted? More importantly, can she sort out her feelings, take down the PTA Mafia, and go home to her children?
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